The Cultivation of Energy: What are we growing with what we have?

This is a reflection on the idea of energy, the very ordinary and yet incredibly powerful and valuable energy that comes with being alive. Our life force! The physical and mental energy we wake up with, generate, expend, replenish and carry with us through our days and life-span.

We often give energy a name once we see what it is doing. We talk about someone having happy energy, passionate energy, angry energy or destructive energy.

But do these descriptions come later? What if, before all of that, there is simply energy? A capacity within us that has not yet decided what it is going to become.

And if that's the case, perhaps an interesting question is not simply "How much energy do I have?" but: What am I cultivating my energy into becoming?

Emerging energy.....

There is, of course, a very physical foundation to this.

Our bodies need to sleep, eat, move and rest. We can probably all recognise periods when we haven't looked after these things particularly well and then wondered why we have so little energy  left to give.

So perhaps the cultivation of energy begins before we decide what to do with it. It begins with creating the conditions that allow us to have some.

Sometimes we may be found asking ourselves “Am I resting enough? Am I moving my body? Am I eating in a way that supports me? Am I allowing periods of recovery as well as periods of activity?”

These can sound like simple wellbeing questions, but perhaps they become more meaningful when we begin to think of our energy as something valuable, something personal to us.

Recognising and valuing our energy…….

This is where the concept of energy becomes particularly interesting to me.

How often do we actually stop and recognise where our energy is going?

We can spend enormous amounts of it worrying about something we cannot control. Trying to satisfy someone else's expectations. Maintaining a relationship. Remaining angry about something that happened. Pursuing a goal. Avoiding a decision. Caring for somebody. Creating something new. Some of those things may be enormously worthwhile. Others may no longer be. But, before deciding which is which, perhaps there is a more fundamental recognition: My energy has value.

That doesn't mean becoming selfish with it or refusing to give our energy to other people. Loving, supporting, caring and contributing can be some of the most meaningful ways we use what we have.

It means recognising that our energy belongs to us and that, at least to some degree, we have agency over where it goes.

What are we growing?

This leads to another idea of energy: positive growth and negative growth.

We tend to associate growth with something good. But lots of things grow!

Confidence can grow. So can resentment.

Connection can grow. So can dependency.

Creativity can grow, but so can avoidance.

A behaviour repeatedly given our time, attention and energy can become increasingly established, whether or not it is taking us towards the life we want. Perhaps then, our energy acts a little like water and nourishment in a garden. Whatever we continually feed has an opportunity to grow.

This gives us a useful question to occasionally ask ourselves: What am I growing with the energy I have?

Importantly……… positive growth doesn't necessarily mean comfortable growth.

Having a difficult conversation requires energy. Setting a boundary requires energy. Grieving requires energy. Beginning again requires energy. Anger may become the energy that finally helps us say no. Frustration might become the energy for change.

The question isn't simply whether an experience feels positive or negative.

It is what we are cultivating from it.

When we've already invested so much?

There is another difficulty.

Sometimes we recognise that something is no longer right for us but immediately think about everything we have already put into it.

I've spent years building this career.

I've given so much to this relationship.

I've already put too much into this project to stop now.

Here, we may experience a powerful feeling that because we have invested so much energy in something, we somehow owe it even more.

But perhaps previous investment doesn't have to determine future investment.

Changing direction doesn't necessarily mean that the energy we previously gave was wasted. Something can have been important to us then without remaining right for us now. The question becomes less: How can I walk away after everything I've put into this? And perhaps more: Do I want to keep putting my energy here?

Energy transition…….

So maybe we can view this as energy transition.

Rather than seeing change only as stopping, quitting, failing or giving up, we might also see it as consciously deciding where our energy goes next. If I stop feeding something that is no longer helping me grow, I begin creating capacity to cultivate something else. That transition might be towards another person, another goal, a different career, greater creativity, better health—or simply towards ourselves for a while. There may even be a period when we don't yet know where the energy needs to go. Perhaps that's okay too.

A conscious cultivation…….

There may be potential benefit from pausing……and asking ourselves;

Where is my energy coming from?

Where is it going?

What is it growing?

Did I consciously choose to cultivate it there?

Is this producing positive growth or negative growth in my life?

Do I want to continue cultivating this, or is it time for an energy transition?

We cannot consciously control every part of ourselves or everything that demands our energy. Life doesn't work quite that neatly. But perhaps greater awareness gives us a little more choice.........And maybe that's the point!

Our energy is valuable. We expend it every day simply through the process of living, relating, thinking, feeling, creating and doing. Perhaps we could become a little more curious about what we are growing with it, and where it is going to.

By Paul Murden – CLC, 2026